LOST & GROUND SCORED
Is this your
pashmina?
Black. Paisley. Emotionally significant. Found on a speaker it was not authorized to operate.
CASE #420–069 · STILL UNCLAIMED
THE MOTOR CITY'S LEAST ESSENTIAL DEPARTMENT
HARD WORK.
HARDER AFTERS.
Serving the community.
Borrowing your lighter.
From Hart Plaza to a warehouse somebody swears is “like five minutes away.” We keep Detroit weird, one unlicensed side quest at a time.
No fee. No mailing list. No proof of employment required.
FORM DWA–313 / PUBLIC SERVICE DIVISION
LOCALLY SOURCED
QUESTIONABLE
DECISIONS100% DETROIT
IN BASS WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS BRING EARPLUGS.QUESTIONABLE
DECISIONS100% DETROIT
PUBLIC BASS
ADVISORY
ADVISORY
CURRENT CONDITIONS: ELEVATED NONSENSE
If you can hear the warehouse, you're not there yet.
Hydrate. Wear earplugs. Check on your friends. The set will still be there.
313
FROM THE DESK OF SOME GUY NAMED SPUN
The community bulletin.
Is this your
INFRASTRUCTURE UPDATE
The pothole
has a sound system.
What began as a road repair is now a three-stage renegade. MDOT has not responded to the group chat.
Read the ordinanceI-94 · EXPECT SPIRITUAL DELAYS
PERMIT & LICENSING
Professionally
unavailable.
Your resume says “independent crystal consultant.” Our department says “welcome aboard.”
NOW ACCEPTING VIBES IN LIEU OF REFERENCES
MUNICIPAL CODE / SECTION 4:20
We live in
a society-ish.
A few rules for a city with absolutely no idea who invited you.
- 01
“On my way” is not a location.
Neither is “by the guy with the totem.” There are forty guys with totems.
- 02
The function is not a personality.
But we acknowledge the afters have become a recurring address.
- 03
Return the lighter.
We know it's in your pashmina. This is your final municipal notice.
- 04
Leave no trace. Bring your people home.
Pick up your trash. Respect the neighbors. Consent isn't a vibe check—ask.
YOU DON'T NEED A PERMIT TO BE WEIRD. BUT IT HELPS.Make your questionable